吐槽小队 黄蒂 | 文

6月27日，内蒙古车主于先生挥起安全锤，向自己几分钟前刚刚提取的特斯拉Model S新车挡风玻璃砸去。

为了争做中国的第一批特斯拉车主，于先生与其他维权车主一样，于2013年10月交了25万元定金订购了Model S，但在今年4月份临交车前，他发现自己由于“地域限制”并不在首批提车的车主范围之列。

因不满交车顺序的车主们进行了多次维权，最终特斯拉CEO马斯克不得不亲自道歉，并和于先生等人达成约定时间内交车的承诺。当然，第一批车主已经做不成了。

但就在上周，特斯拉方面通知于先生等人，Model S在清关时被发现关单号和车架号不符合，必须返回美国总部重新报关，交付时间再次被延后。特斯拉建议于先生可以开走展厅的展示汽车，或再等待一个月。但于先生认为，开走展厅的车“感觉好像我刚刚娶了一个二婚的老婆”。

于是“二婚老婆”就在刚刚提车后惨遭大锤伺候。对特斯拉和Model S的兴趣没有国界，这条新闻很快传到了国外。

外国网友对车主于先生的吐槽自然不少：

Robert Fahey：我儿子可能会对玩具车做同样的事，当他心情不好的时候。不过他才2岁。

My son might do this with a toy car when he’s in a bad mood, but he’s two years old.

（小编：年龄无界限……）

Jim：我理解他的挫败感，但正常人不会做出这么坏的行为。除了公开展示他的冲动管理问题，他还能通过这个糟糕的公开行为得到什么？

I understand he was frustrated, but a normal person does not act out so badly. Besides publicly demonstrating his impulse control problems, what could he possibly gain by publicizing his bad behavior?

（小编：安安静静把车提走就没人报道他了哦）

daender：随便吧，他付了钱，可以做任何他想做的。烧把火，再去买一辆并且给特斯拉更多的钱。愚蠢的人！

Whatever, he paid for it, he can do whatever he wants! Set it on fire, go buy another one and give Tesla more money, the doofus!

（小编：这算是典型反应）

John：我希望余先生没有指望特斯拉帮他修车或给他换辆新车。车已经交付了。现在是他和保险公司之间的事了。

I’m hoping that Mr. Yu does not expect Tesla to fix that damage or give him another new car. He took delivery of it. It’s between him and the insurance company now.

（小编：这位真是冷静派）

接下来，中国其他车主开始中枪：

Franzouse：让 我想到几个月前遇到的一个中国有钱人，他把XO兑雪碧喝，他抱怨西方品牌有种族主义，侮辱中国人的人和钱，不给他们应有的尊重。然后他钻进了他的（奔 驰）S600轿车，里面套着Vercase（对，是“Vercase”不是“Versace”范思哲）的豹纹椅套，后面贴着著名的“我是威固”车膜。

Reminds me of a rich Chinese guy I met a few months ago. As he was sipping a mix of XO and Sprite, he was complaining that western brands are just racist and abusing Chinese people and their money, not giving them the respect they deserve. He then got into his S600 with Vercase (yes vercase not versace) branded leopard seat covers, and the famous "I'm V-kool" sticker on the back..

（小编是穷困无车族，关于车的吐槽不是完全懂……）

SlowLGT：这一点都不新鲜。曾有个女士买了辆宝马X3。当她向她朋友们炫耀的时候，车在高速公路上抛锚了。她把车拖回经销商那里，聚集了一帮当地媒体。要求经销商全额退款。然而，经过一番检查，这辆X3是没油了。

That's nothing new... There was once a lady who bought a BMW X3. While she was showing off her brand new X3 to her friends, it stalled on the highway. She towed the X3 back to the dealership, gathered a gang and a bunch of local media. She demanded the dealership to giver her a full refund. However, after inspection, it turned out that the X3 ran out of gas.....

（小编：外国段子手你好）

当然，也有人对于先生表示理解和同情，并表示看不惯特斯拉。

pug_ster: 廉价的美国制造的垃圾

Cheap American made garbage.

pirates-ecu：6周没有那么夸张…我听说过更糟糕的延迟。我能理解那些钱比脑子多的人的想法

6 weeks is not that ridiculous.... ive heard of far worse delays. once again i can understand the thinking of people with more money then brains.

（小编：这个其实还是骂车主的……）

EbbenFlow：想 象一下你计划为了毕业买辆车并举办个大派对，人都来了，可是车没来……一个你的失望和尴尬，加上怀疑自己被经销商误导了，很难去处理吧，不是吗？这个砸车 的例子可能听起来很极端，你们都在谈论它，特斯拉对任何负面的名声可不会感到开心。所以关键不在于一个疯狂的顾客，而是一家公司在国外市场学到了教训。

Let's say you arrange to buy a new car for a new grad and there is a big party and everyone is there, but no car....your disappointment and embarrassment, coupled with wondering if you'd been misled by some car dealer, would be tough to handle, no? And while this case may sound extreme, you're all here talking about it, and Tesla can't be happy about any negative publicity, so the point isn't about a wacked buyer, it's about a company that is learning lessons in other markets the hard way.

接下来是洋吐槽中的例行节目，嘲讽中国有钱人：

Anonymous: 中国有钱人觉得他们应该被当作国王或贵宾来对待。

People in China who have money think they should be treated like king or VIPs…

（小编：好多国的好多有钱人都这么觉得）

I am Chinese: 中国拥有5000年文明，真的吗？从余先生这里可看不出来。

Chinese boast five thousand years of civilization. Really? Not from the likes of Mr. Yu.

（小编：耸耸肩）

blahblah1266：有些事告诉我，我们不用担心中国人会很快接管世界。

Something tells me we don't have to worry about the Chinese taking over the world anytime soon.

GusTurbo：或许他通过砸烂资本主义就能抗议中国海关了。

Perhaps he will protest Chinese government customs by smashing capitalism.

AlexioFlexio：美国人经历了很多年的物质过剩、浪费和慷慨，然后变得非常无聊，脱离真实世界，最后除了创造“愤怒”文化外没剩下什么。中国人变得不必要的“愤怒”只花了短短的一个十年，真是创造了一项新纪录。

it took american's years of overabundance, waste, and generally largesse to become so bored and disconnected with the real world, that there was nothing real left but to create an "outrage" culture. The Chinese have achieved a new record by become gratuitously "outraged" in just a short decade.

（小编：文化批评家你好……）

Thomas: 这就是中国富人的心态和行为，加拿大政府已经停止他们移民。美国应该学习加拿大政府，不再接受更多的中国移民。这些人自大，自私并对西方精神充满敌意，他们不会调整自己并在美国成为我们中的一员。

This is the exact mentality and behavior of the rich Chinese people that the Canadian government stopped accepting into Canada. The US should learn from the Canadian government and do not accept more immigrants from China. These people with arrogance, selfishness, and hostility to the West mentality will never adjust in becoming one of us in the US.

（小编：从近期的新闻报道来看，加拿大政府只是拒绝了还不够富的中国人，想要更富一点的……）

（完）

原文参考：

- Disgruntled Chinese Customer Gets New Tesla, Smashes It（原载《华尔街日报》，作者：Rose Yu）
- Smashed Tesla Model S Latest Victim In Chinese Publicity Stunts（原载Damon Lavrinc博客）

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